{"product_id":"murderhobo-tee","title":"Murderhobo Tee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"409\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"348\" data-end=\"409\"\u003eYou don’t need a backstory when you’ve got a bastard sword.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"411\" data-end=\"596\"\u003eEvery party has one. The loot ninja chaotic asshole. The one who ends 90% of social encounters with their greataxe. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s the whole party...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"411\" data-end=\"596\"\u003eYou were supposed to escort a merchant caravan. Somehow the tavern’s on fire, the barkeep is dead, and the orphanage has been “liberated” of its tithes. Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"950\"\u003eThree hours of town roleplay? This is supposed to be a game isn't it? Kill stuff. You're not ruining immersion, you’re the reason it’s fun!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"952\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003eInspired by the iconic Marlboro logo and rebranded for the chaotic-neutral soul who never learned the difference between “questgiver” and “lootbox,” this shirt is a loving roast of every player who said, “Sure, I’ll be a bard,” and then got bored during the exposition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1239\" data-end=\"1457\"\u003eWear it to your next session and become instantly recognizable as the party’s biggest liability—and greatest weapon. Let the world know you’re not here to talk. You’re here to roll initiative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1459\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003ePrinted on ultra-comfy unisex cotton that’s built to survive tavern brawls, angry DMs, and real-world Mondays. Available in all mortal sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1619\" data-end=\"1705\"\u003eBuy now. Loot later. Don't apologize.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"tsaurus.com","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":43541388984379,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XS-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43541389017147,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-S-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43541389049915,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-M-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43541389082683,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-L-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43541389115451,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XL-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43541389148219,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-2XL-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43541389180987,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-3XL-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43541389213755,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-4XL-White-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43541389246523,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XS-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43541389279291,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-S-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43541389312059,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-M-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43541389344827,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-L-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43541389377595,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43541389410363,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-2XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43541389443131,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-3XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43541389475899,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-4XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XS","offer_id":43541389508667,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-XS-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":43541389541435,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-S-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":43541389574203,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-M-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":43541389606971,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-L-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":43541389639739,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-XL-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":43541389672507,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-2XL-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":43541389705275,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-3XL-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 4XL","offer_id":43541389738043,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-4XL-Natural-Mens-CF-20250528095143465","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0676\/0493\/8811\/files\/Murderhobo_DnD_parody_unisex_white_t-shirt.jpg?v=1779541779","url":"https:\/\/izzys-closet-2023.myshopify.com\/products\/murderhobo-tee","provider":"IZZY'S CLOSET","version":"1.0","type":"link"}