{"product_id":"locally-grown-farm-to-table-evil-druid-tee","title":"Locally Grown Farm to Table - Evil Druid Tee","description":"\u003ch6\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSession Entry: DD-LGFT-07\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSubject Type: Hipster Farmer-Class Reframing\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFiled under: Harvest \/ Evil \/ Full Moon Ritual\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFresh from the rot beneath your feet.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEveryone loves the idea of a wholesome harvest. Golden light, ripe pumpkins, food that \u003cem\u003enourishes\u003c\/em\u003e. But nature doesn’t care about your idealism. It feeds on blood, bone, and the things you thought were buried.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnder every fertile field is decomposing organic matter. This druid knows. She put the corpses there. She speaks to the soil- not with reverence, but with \u003cem\u003espite\u003c\/em\u003e. She doesn’t respect the cycle. She \u003cem\u003eexploits it\u003c\/em\u003e. She doesn’t bless the crops. She curses them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis design captures a cursed autumn ritual: an evil druid hovering above a scarecrow in a pumpkin patch, arms outstretched under a cursed, swollen harvest moon. A boneyard sleeps beneath the gourds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this marks you as someone who knows the truth behind the harvest. You’re not fooled by the pie and cider aesthetic. You understand the old ways- the ones whispered through red-black soil and fed with marrow. You don’t just farm. You put the \u003cem\u003ecult \u003c\/em\u003ein \u003cem\u003ecultivate\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on cursed-soil-black cotton. Unisex fit. Seasonally haunted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClaim the relic. Blight the land.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe roots are ready.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the table... is set.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"tsaurus.com","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424439355,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-XS","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424472123,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-S","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424504891,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-S","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424537659,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-M","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424570427,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-M","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424603195,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-L","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424635963,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-L","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424668731,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-XL","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424701499,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-XL","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424734267,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-2XL","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424767035,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-2XL","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424799803,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-3XL","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424832571,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-3XL","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ Classic","offer_id":43541424865339,"sku":"Bella-3001-Black-dd-lgft-4XL","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":43541424898107,"sku":"heavy-black-dd-lgft-4XL","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0676\/0493\/8811\/files\/Locally_Grown_Farm_to_Table_Evil_Druid_D_D_T-shirt.jpg?v=1779541833","url":"https:\/\/izzys-closet-2023.myshopify.com\/products\/locally-grown-farm-to-table-evil-druid-tee","provider":"IZZY'S CLOSET","version":"1.0","type":"link"}