{"product_id":"incredibly-tragic-backstory-tee","title":"Incredibly Tragic Backstory Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour parents? Dead.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour hometown? Gone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour mentor? Betrayed you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour will to live? Just enough to fuel vengeance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSound familiar? Of course—because in D\u0026amp;D, if your backstory isn’t \u003cstrong\u003eShakespeare-level tragic,\u003c\/strong\u003e did you even roll a character?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis shirt says what your \u003cstrong\u003echaracter sheet is already screaming.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery D\u0026amp;D table has one:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe brooding barbarian whose family was killed by goblins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe warlock whose patron \u003cem\u003ealso\u003c\/em\u003e destroyed their village\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe paladin who swore an oath to a god that ghosted them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd the DM? Just nodding along, mentally trashing 90% of your tragic prologue—because, let’s be real, the party is just gonna murderhobo and fight over pocket loot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWear your character sheet on your chest.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLet the world know you’ve suffered (or at least your character has).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreemptively mock the inevitable DM sigh when you hand over a three-page backstory.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour backstory was written in blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour fate? Sealed in dice rolls.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour future? Probably ignored for a side quest about chickens.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBut at least you can wear this shirt as a badge of honor.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe real tragedy? You don’t own it yet. \u003cstrong\u003eGrab yours before your edge dulls.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"tsaurus.com","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43541372600379,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XS-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43541372633147,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-S-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43541372665915,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-M-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43541372698683,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-L-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43541372731451,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43541372764219,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-2XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43541372796987,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-3XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43541372829755,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-TShirt-Bella-3001-4XL-Black-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ XS","offer_id":43541372862523,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-XS-DarkGrey-Unisex-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ S","offer_id":43541372895291,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-S-DarkGrey-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ M","offer_id":43541372928059,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-M-DarkGrey-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ L","offer_id":43541372960827,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-L-DarkGrey-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ XL","offer_id":43541372993595,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-XL-DarkGrey-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":43541373026363,"sku":"Apparel-DTG-Tshirt-Bella-3001-2XL-DarkGrey-Mens-CF-20250222005852283","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0676\/0493\/8811\/files\/incrediblytragicbackstory-black-web.jpg?v=1779541775","url":"https:\/\/izzys-closet-2023.myshopify.com\/products\/incredibly-tragic-backstory-tee","provider":"IZZY'S CLOSET","version":"1.0","type":"link"}